My daughter Abbie likes scary movies. She tends to find them funny; maybe its the cheese factor that is the draw there? I don't know, I avoid them like onions on pizza. I just can't fathom how some writers would come up with some of that stuff and then actually put it into a format that we can actually go visualize.
I was about 4 years old when I developed a habit of getting up in the middle of the night, without my parents knowing, to turn on the TV. One night in particular this movie came on that I should not have been watching. It was a guy running around in an amusement park trying to get away from some sort of vampirish fella. My eyes were glued to the screen. At some point, the vampire guy caught up with the other fella and grabbed his hand like he was going to shake it. Instead of a gentlemanly shake, he squeezed it until his hand split into two which was graphically shown for my viewing pleasure. I can still see it in my mind today. That is the impact that had on me. I was horrified obviously, and of course tattled on myself for being up by running into my parents room for some consolation who abruptly took the knob off of the television before bed each night thereafter.
The next one I remember was at a birthday party sleep over when I was about Grade 5. I was introduced to Freddy Krueger. Who the hell let Wes England come to a kids birthday party? For those that don't know, the genius that created this movie came up with a character who was burned alive in a furnace for atrocities he committed only to come back to kill kids with a glove that was made of four long razor blades. The worst part, he could only get you if you fell asleep. Try going to sleep after seeing that masterpiece as a 10 year old!
I just don't see the point of these movies. It's the equivalent to me of going outside and hitting your thumb with a hammer on purpose. Weeeeee....pain is fun! Furthermore, what kind of individual thinks up this stuff? That's the person I want showing up to date my kids. Who's your friend Alex? Oh this is Sadie. Nice to meet you Sadie, what do you do to stay busy? Oh, I sit around and think of the most vile twisted crazy ways to kill people, and then I write it down in a script in the hopes that people will enjoy watching it. Goodbye Sadie.
I understand that cinema is supposed to tap into your emotions, similar to a song I suppose. I'm a country music singer so perhaps the same argument of why on earth would you sing such a sad thing as He Stopped Loving Her Today? Is the goal to dampen the spirits of the entire audience? No, that in my mind, is story telling based on some real experiences that people go through. Do you know what most people don't go through? A guy in a goalie mask with super human strength, that can't be killed, revving up a chainsaw and dismembering scantily clad prom dates in a summer cabin.
Who needs to add this sort of fear and stress to their lives?! Do you want fear and stress? Have a kid. Have a four year old kid who asks for nothing for Christmas then lets you know on Christmas Eve that at the mall with Grandma that week, he asked Santa for a sold out Lightning MacQuack Attack figurine. That should get the old juices running. There just seems to be enough things in day to day life to step on your nervous system than to add into the mix some deranged lunatic doll that comes to life and kills everyone in the house.
I'm just gonna keep on watching the ridiculous humour of Jim Carrey, maybe some more action flicks, and of course the obligatory date night smoosh movies; and leave the slasher films to the people that bungee jump from bamboo scaffolding in Mexico.
Gotta run...it's time to put the batteries back in the TV remote...TV's don't have knobs anymore and I have my own 10 year old.